Alright, fellow couch potatoes, it’s that time again. Netflix has whipped out its monthly schedule, doing its usual swap of content like a dealer rotating through strains. September 2024 is serving us a fresh stash of shows and movies, but also—tragically—snatching away some beloved titles. This is your hazy guide to what’s coming to Netflix, and what’s leaving, before you’ve even had the chance to find the remote buried in your couch. So, grab your snacks, settle in, and let’s blaze through the latest streaming ups and downs.
New Arrivals: Fresh Picks for September 2024
Ah yes, the new arrivals—Netflix’s latest attempt to get you to say, “Just one more episode,” at 3 AM. They’ve loaded up some serious fire this month, and the mix is looking, well, eclectic (because that’s just code for “we hope there’s something for everyone”). Let’s dive into the goods.
1. Stranger Things: The Final Countdown (Season 5)
We’re finally here, man. After what feels like an eternity, Stranger Things is dropping its fifth and final season. The Hawkins gang is back for one last romp through the upside-down, and honestly, after this, they deserve some chill time. You know, like, retire to a beach somewhere far, far away from monsters. Expect nostalgia bombs, mind-bending plot twists, and Winona Ryder being perpetually on edge (but like, who isn’t?).
Season 5 is gonna be a rollercoaster of ‘80s references, synth music, and emotionally devastating character deaths that will have you ugly crying into your pizza. Can’t wait to see how they close this chapter—unless they go all “Lost” on us and leave it more confusing than the inside of a lava lamp.
2. The Puff Chronicles: Blunt Force Trauma (New Limited Series)
You might be thinking, “Another stoner comedy?” Yes. Yes, indeed. But this one? The Puff Chronicles isn’t just about lighting up; it’s about getting your mind blown in the weirdest way possible. Think Pineapple Express meets Inception meets, like, your last weird dream where your old high school principal turned into a talking ferret.
The plot? A couple of best buds (pun fully intended) discover that their local dispensary isn’t just selling cannabis—they’re selling portals to alternate realities. It’s trippy, hilarious, and bizarre enough to keep your attention locked even if you’ve spaced out halfway through the second episode.
3. Blade Runner 2099 (New Original Film)
Blade Runner fans, rejoice! Netflix is getting all sci-fi dystopian again with Blade Runner 2099, a high-tech, mind-warping addition to the franchise. This one’s set even further into the future, where replicants are basically running the joint, and humans? Well, they’re just trying to hang on. Expect stunning visuals, existential crises, and more than a few philosophical moments that’ll have you questioning whether or not you’re even real.
Light up something nice for this one, because you’re going to need to sit through all 2.5 hours and then spend at least another three hours pondering what it all meant. Bonus points if you can make it through without asking, “Wait, is this guy a replicant or not?”
4. Superbad 2: Older, Not Wiser (New Original Film)
Yes, it’s happening. The boys are back! Seth, Evan, and McLovin have all grown up—or have they? Superbad 2: Older, Not Wiser is exactly what you’d expect: a reunion of sorts, except they’re not sneaking into parties anymore—they’re trying to survive middle-age crises. McLovin is now a dad, Seth is a struggling writer, and Evan, well, he’s the same neurotic mess but with more gray hairs.
If you’re down for another round of crude humor, ridiculous misadventures, and some major ’00s nostalgia, this one’s for you.
5. The Last Laugh: Comedians in Quarantine (New Stand-Up Specials)
Alright, stand-up fans. Netflix is pulling together some of the best comedians who were cooped up during lockdown and giving them the stage for one last hurrah. The Last Laugh features stand-up specials from comics who, let’s face it, spent way too much time staring at their own four walls. Expect to hear jokes about the pandemic, Zoom fails, and the absurdity of trying to date when your only social interaction is through a screen.
Just make sure you don’t watch this after indulging too much, or you might start thinking your Alexa is plotting against you.
What’s Leaving Netflix in September 2024: Grab the Tissues
It’s not all fun and games, folks. With new content arriving, we have to say goodbye to some classics. September is doing us dirty with some of the most heartbreaking departures. So let’s pour one out for the homies we’re about to lose.
1. Breaking Bad (All Seasons)
Yeah, this one hurts. Breaking Bad is packing its bags and leaving Netflix like it’s fleeing the cops. It’s been a staple for so long that it almost feels wrong to let it go. If you’ve somehow missed out on Walter White’s transformation from chemistry teacher to drug lord (seriously, what were you doing?), now’s your last chance to binge it before it’s gone.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you’re trying to fill that empty void with something else. Spoiler: Nothing quite hits the same as Jesse screaming “Science, b****!”
2. Inception
Speaking of mind-benders, Inception is getting the boot, too. If you’ve ever wanted to question your entire existence while simultaneously trying to remember how dreams work, now’s the time to rewatch. Just don’t get too deep into thinking about the top spinning at the end. Does it fall? Does it keep going? Does anyone really care after a couple of edibles?
Make sure to schedule a solid 48 hours to rewatch, Google “Inception ending explained,” and then rewatch again before it disappears.
3. Pulp Fiction
We’re losing one of Quentin Tarantino’s best works this month. Pulp Fiction is that movie you’ve seen a million times but still quote because it’s cool, and also, maybe because you like to feel like you understand film. Tarantino’s masterclass in dialogue, violence, and foot fetishism is leaving the building, so savor that Royale with Cheese while you can.
It’s gonna be rough when Netflix tries to fill the void with another “edgy” indie flick that’s 98% silent stares and symbolism no one asked for.
4. The Office (US Version)
Netflix, why you gotta do us like this? The Office is leaving (again), which means no more Dwight Schrute weirdness, no more Jim pranking Pam, and no more Michael Scott moments that make you cringe so hard you question all of your life choices.
Honestly, it feels like Netflix is cutting us off from our comfort shows on purpose, like they know we turn to The Office when everything else feels wrong. Guess we’ll all have to figure out how to rewatch it on whatever random streaming service picks it up next.
What’s Leaving But We’re Okay With It
Not everything leaving is going to rip our hearts out. Some shows and movies are making their exit, and it’s kind of a relief, to be honest.
1. Riverdale (Season 7)
Look, I get it. Riverdale started off as a weird, dark take on the Archie comics, but by Season 7, we’ve all collectively agreed it’s turned into a fever dream. Talking about time travel, alternate dimensions, and multiple serial killers in a town of like 100 people—it’s probably time for this one to go.
Honestly, we should be paying Netflix to take this one off our hands. RIP to the once-good show that spiraled into bonkers territory faster than you can say “Jughead.”
2. Fifty Shades Darker
It’s leaving. Finally. There’s only so much “contractual romance” one can handle before the cringe levels hit overdrive. Let’s not dwell on this one. It’s not you, it’s…actually, it’s totally you, Christian Grey.
Final Thoughts: The Great September Shuffle
Netflix giveth, and Netflix taketh away. This September is bringing some heat with new shows like Stranger Things and Blade Runner 2099, but also breaking our hearts with the departure of Breaking Bad and The Office. Make sure you’ve got your list ready for one last binge before the clock strikes midnight on some of these gems.
Until next time, fellow streamers—may your snacks be plentiful, your Wi-Fi be strong, and your sleep schedule completely wrecked.
